Bang Bang - Ipshita Peters

Hi there!

Nikita said that I need to rant about popular culture. I won't be ranting about popular culture (at least not in the tradition sense), because there is enough of that on the internet, and also on this blog. Instead, I will do a lyric parody on the song 'Bang Bang' by Jesse J, similar to the one I did previously over here. This parody is meant for entertainment purposes only, so please don't take it seriously.

Enjoy!
Warning : The Following Contains Explicit Content  

BANG  BANG  - Jesse J

She got a body like an hourglass / But I can give it to you all the time

"Her feminine posterior is shaped like a timing device that passes sand between glass bulbs."

She got a booty like a Cadillac / But I can send you into overdrive

"Simultaneously, it is also shaped like a luxury four-wheeled vehicle. Cadillacs once possessed two distinctive spoilers on their bumpers. Hence, Bumpers = booty. (But these ridiculous metaphors are probably sending you into overdrive.)"

(Stop and wait, wait for that, stop, hold up, swing your bat)

"Now hold up a second."

See anybody could be bad to you, you need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah

"See, anybody could be disagreeable towards you, but it takes a certain level of righteousness in a women to cause your mind to explode. Yeah."

[Chorus]
Bang, bang into the room / I know you want it

"Compelling research suggests that 'bang bang' could either mean whipping your hands in the form of a gun, or engaging in sexual intercourse. So yeah. If you stick with me, we will possibly be engaging in both or either of the two."

Bang, bang all over you / I'll let you have it

"No, wait. First we'll fake shoot each other, and then we'll have intercourse."

Wait a minute, let me take you there / Wait a minute till you...

"Either way. I guess it doesn't really matter."

Bang, bang there goes your heart / I know you want it

"Oh , look! My badass metaphors have caused another explosion in another one of your organs."

Back, backseat of my car / I'll let you have it

"But I'm so badass, I'll still let you have intercourse in the backseat of my car."

Wait a minute, let me take you there / Wait a minute till you...

"Just hold on another minute and I'll take you there" *wink wink*

[Ariana Grande]
She might've let you hold her hand in school / But I'mma show you how to graduate

"Jesse J might have held your hand throughout your younger days, but I'm going to show you how to successfully get a degree in badass-ery."

No, I don't need to hear you talk the talk / Just come and show me what your momma gave

"No, there is no talking required for this. All you need to do is show me everything you mother has every given you. Stuffed toys, animal crackers, a big booty, whatever you got."

(Your love gotta be baby, love but don’t say a thing)

"I am comparing this degree on badass-ery to love, which too does not require any spoken words."

See anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind

"Now I'm going to contradict that hand-holding woman and say that bad girls, and not good ones, are required to cause explosions in vital organs. Hence, I'm trying to imply that I am clearly more bad-ass than Jesse."

[Chorus]

[Nicki Minaj]
It’s Myx Moscato / It’s frizz in a bottle

"Ha! Look at those two fighting. I'm clearly the winner here, since I have a drink named after me. (Although I do admit it looks like frizz in a bottle.)"

It’s Nicki full throttle / It’s oh, oh

 

"Now that I've consumed my own energy drink, I'm working at full speed. I have no words left to describe this feeling. Oh!"

Swimming in the grotto / We winning in the lotto

"Stick with me, and we'll go swimming in artificial caves and hopefully win whilst engaging in gambling."

We dipping in the powder blue, four door.

"Then we'll ride around in a power-blur four-door vehicle. (Possibly, it's a Cadillac, just like your derriere.)"

Kitten so good / It's dripping on wood / Get a ride in the engine that could

"..."

Go, Batman robbin' it / Bang, bang, cockin' it

"Like Batman, we'll go out in the night and rob things. If we get caught, we'll cock our fake guns and yell "Bang bang."

Queen Nicki dominant, prominent

"Hail peasants, it is me, Queen Nicki of Badass-land."

It's me, Jessie, and Ari / If they test me they sorry

"I know this contest is between the three of us, but if they try to out-perform me, they will pay."

Ride his c--k, like a Harley / Then pull off in this Ferrari

"Once I win (which I definitely will), I will ride his male organ like a luxury motorbike, and then we'll take off in our Ferrari."

If we hanging, we banging / Phone ranging, he slanging

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm very fond of luxury vehicles."

It ain’t karaoke night but get the mic ‘cause he singing

"But then again I am a Queen, so whatever."

[Bridge]
B to the A to the N to the G to the uh / B to the A to the N to the G to the hey

"S*x. S*x. S*x. "

See anybody could be good to you / You need a bad girl to blow your mind

"Like Ari said, bad girls = exploding organs. BANG!"

 - Ipshita Peters 
Her Blog : Euphoniour